Life Lessons

April 2021

Find what supports you and feeds you and do it!  Sharing/Listening with your Partner, a morning Routine, regular intimacy with your partner, daily gratitude, writing, exercising, being in Nature, video instruction on what interests you, journaling...

Be good to your partner, you need the support!  Learn how to encourage your partner, learn what they need, give it to them, be thankful when they give it to you.  You need the support; they need your support.  Your partner can really be a key catalyst to your transformation and likewise you to theirs.  Don’t focus on your differences as issues but as ways of completing each other.  Your commonalities become stronger as you share and keep up your end of the bargain.  Follow through with your partner...they will appreciate and gain strength from your reliability and trustworthiness.

Remember your first love.  Music, Studying, Dreams...remember what got you excited, motivated, up early, thinking about, wanting to learn more...  Find or rediscover those things periodically and go back to basics.  Sometimes it’s helpful to imagine how you would have done things differently at earlier moments in your life.  Maybe you can start those things/interests/instruments/activities again and see how it fits today.  You may rediscover parts of yourself that you lost or are laying dormant.  No matter how long you’ve been on the road, you can start again, do it differently, take a new path or revive and old path.  We’re all just living one big moment/the present.  It may have taken you a long time to get to this awareness but you’re here and can move forward.  Don’t get stuck in regret, do it again the way you wished you had the courage to do it the first time...

Let Your Body Rest and Self-Heal.  Night sweats, fevers are indications that your body is dealing with its issues naturally.  We tend to want to medicate these healing processes away.  Let them happen and embrace them.  Rest and dealing with fear/stress are the most important healing processes that we have some control over.  Listen to your body and follow its direction...or it will get worse and you’ll be forced to pay attention!

Be humble, realize that the issues you’re having with people is what they’re having with you.  Which is it, the chicken or the egg with relationship challenges??  To you it seems to be their problem, to them it’s you.  You can only control yourself to try to improve yourself first, don’t call people names, speak your truth and get busy improving yourself. 

Keep conflict resolution current.  The longer conflict goes on, the worst it gets or it never gets addressed and resolved.  Sometime a break helps calm and clarify, so a bit of distance helps.  Don’t let it go on too long.  The closer the relationship and the more important the relationship the shorter the period needs to be.  Light language helps.

Writing helps with goals, troubles, thoughts, focus and manifesting.  Use writing to get your thoughts out, deal with internal issues, focus on your goals, track your progress on goals and manifest the things you want.  There is a power in writing that can only be experienced (not explained).  Just do it and you’ll see.

Be thankful for your challenges, they are leading you somewhere and are your teachers...embrace your lessons with love.  All of the issues and challenges I have today are my teachers/friends/angels.  The daily struggle of life gives you something to live for:  growth-improvement-new experiences-good things.  Corrie Ten Boom’s example of the backside of an embroidered scarf is informative.  The twists, turns, darkness, contrast, conflicts are knarly to look at from behind but the front is a beautiful work of art...this is our life – often tough and perplexing but ultimately colorful and beautiful.

Don’t be afraid of confrontation with anyone.  We live in fear of confronting issues, people, problems, our own addictions.  This fear brings suffering, angst and a lot of other unnecessary issues.  Usually the confrontation is much less scary than imagined.  Often it brings healing and moving forward.  It confrontation brings a break, then maybe a break was necessary as well.  You’ll only know that from being on the other side of the confrontation.  Life really is a learning experience and we’re challenged daily to grow, experience, learn, relearn – we’re the student and the teacher for others and ourselves.  Embrace it!

Start with the goal in mind before addressing conflict.  We so often get angry and hit back at people, especially love ones.  Stop, take a breath, take some time and refocus on what you want from the relationship.  If the goal is a better relationship, make sure your conflict resolution is also from a good place and not an attack.  Counter attacks don’t bring the satisfaction that you think they will.  Counter attacks just bring more contempt and break down the relationship further. 

Subsititute Good Activities for Addiction.  One way to beat addiction is by squeezing it out with a healing, nourishing, nurturing activity.  Rather than watch T.V., play an instrument, read a book, exercise, take a walk, call someone...  Do anything during that addiction time to fill up the space.  Do it consistently until it becomes the habit.  We naturally tend to fall into ruts so creat a "rut" that is lifegiving for you and you'll enjoy the benefit.

Eliminate the T.V.  You really can’t be serious about doing anything of consequence if you watch T.V.  Strong statement but true.  Modern Society has many potholes and T.V. is one of them.  There are others, each with their own brand of poison and issues.  They all have one thing in common:  they take away your life which is your time in mindless activity that could be better spent elsewhere.

Break up your goals into small, achievable, daily rituals that move you forward.  “Eat an elephant one small bite at a time.”  This is great advise for important, difficult goals that require you to do things you currently cannot do.  Make it a simple ritual that you can practice multiple times daily and watch it grow and improve more quickly that you could imagine.

Keep making progress towards your goals.  If you stop pursuing your goals, your goals will lose energy and interest in you.  Feed the goals/your purpose and it will come back.  We all get off track from time to time and our life is waiting for us to turn back and get involved again.  You can lose yourself but you’ll find it/yourself again by just taking the steps, journaling and letting your inner self come out.  It’s just too powerful to keep it down for very long. 

Your path is clear – settle your mind and discover it.  Meditation has a bad rap in many ways and mindfulness is a fad.  Maybe not!  Your inner self, God within, Christ within, Higher Self is trying to get through to you on a daily basis and over a long time during your life.  Settle your mind, quiet yourself and listen to your messages.  Do something about what you hear TODAY!

Do the work for the sake of the work not recognition.  Most of the important thinkers, innovators, writers, musicians were never recognized for their work.  This illustrates that the work is important for its own sake and not to gain recognition or reward.  Just do what you find motivated to do and see it through.  Disregard the recognition motive or money motive...nothing wrong with these things but they are results or consequences not motivators.

March 2021

Force yourself to use and understand what you already have.  The desire for the new and the latest can keep you chasing distractions.  Get your groove, produce, make something happen before looking to the new and latest.  Often the cutting edge of technology does more to cut you than help.  If you feel like you’ve really used up what you have and have learned it top to bottom, you’ll be ready for the next step and take it and feel good about the investment.

Keep your routine even if you’re in pain – it's your way out.  There will always be an excuse for not keeping your routine/discipline/ritual.  This is a test!  Keep with it even if it’s tough, makes someone mad...It’s what gives you life and purpose.

Limit your choices and force yourself to create with limited tools.  Find those tools you already have in your shed and remember why you wanted them and use them.  Limit your creative tools to one or two and see what you can do.  You are a musician, creative person and can make something out of limited means...that’s what you do.  Show yourself and use it as a creative method. 

Get in touch with what moves you, what interests you, what fascinates you, what challenges you and don’t let go of it.  You gotta have a Long Term View...Some ideas, projects, interests, goals can take a lifetime and maybe even then you’re not finished!  A good friendship, a marriage, music, art, writing, creativity...all take a long time to develop.  Be in there for the long haul and celebrate every small victory, understanding, awareness, talent acquired/developed, new thing learned...This “following of your bliss” will lead you to where you need to be even in very dark moments.

Hard work and struggle bring the satisfaction of achievement.  Expect to face challenges, expect to grow through struggle, expect to overcome.  Take time to reflect and drink in achievement.  It’s easy to just see the struggle and not celebrate the successes.  Take baby steps if that’s all you have time for.  Each move forward, creates momentum and increases the progress.

The Universe is in Control.  Often we think we have control over things...we don’t.  Our impact is really very small and our control even smaller.  Trust and Surrender without Fear is the only way to deal with this lack of control.  Take each day as it comes and be prepared for it to be your last...

Fight through the veil of frustration and keep going until you win the lesson, it will be sweet.  It’s so easy to get frustrated and give up.  Sometimes the successful conclusion is just one more attempt away, one more look at the manual, one more try...keep on it, you’ll be glad to get to the other side. 

Synchronicity People bring interesting synergies-connections to just about any endeavor.  These people will find you, recognize them and take the plunge.  They come into your life for a very interesting learning experience and you will provide the same for them.  It’s like handing messages to each other in class in junior high. 

Look for your Epiphany and follow it through.  It may not be a burning bush or an audible voice but it’s real and happens.  A discovery of software that makes your affirmation possible is an excellent example.  It could also be an off handed comment from a friend, enemy or loved one.  Whatever and wherever it is or comes from, FOLLOW IT!  It may be just the beginning of a long journey, but START IT.

Be Inspired by people who have done things that you want to do.  If someone else has done what you want to do, it’s possible.  If someone else is doing what you want to do, network with them.  Let the example of others inspire you.  If you can’t find a role model, BE the role model.  Mentor others as they come to you and take it as an opportunity to grow more into your dream person...the person that others look up to and want to emulate.

Be comfortable in your own skin.  Learn to be good with being alone.  It’s challenging to turn off phones, T.V., conversations with friends/family.  It’s important to learn how to find a quiet place within yourself that allows you to center, relax, let your creativity flow, look to the future, let go of the past, let the stress pass through you without sticking. 

Be comfortable with who you are.  Don’t worry about other people’s opinons including your parent’s opinion.  Trust that you know where you’re going, you’ll make good choices, you’ll learn from challenging circumstances, you’ll learn from your bad choices as well.  There are no mistakes, only chances to learn and grow.

Consistency and Commitment will bring results.  It’s so easy to make exceptions, not keep with the program and letting things go.  Resist this at all costs.  Falling off the wagon doesn’t help relieve anything but only compounds pain.  The real issue is to find commitments that are life giving and more productive than the addictive ones...

Learn your lessons, even from teachers of the opposite.  I learned love from the loveless, I learned the need for forgiveness from those who refuse to forgive, I learned to let go from those who hold on.  Your teachers are right there, learn or you’ll join in their folly.  The same teacher will also teach you important lessons and give you the next step, look for that too.  Your greatest teacher will be the one inside of you.  Those without malice will also be your teachers, learn from them, they are revealing your weaknesses that you need to address.

Get rid of Clutter!!!  It’s so easy for certain personality types to hold on and hoard things....let it go and make room for the new and better.  When you’re in a transition from fat to slim, old to new...getting rid of things just makes room for the good, new, future and brings joy to the process.  This goes for clothes, equipment, knick-knacks, old symbols, software, old thinking, old ways of feeling, old relationships, old thoughts...the NEW and IMPROVED is coming and looking for space to roost.

Do YOUR STUFF!  It’s so easy to play other people’s music even when you’re doing experimental stuff.  Just do your stuff...even if you think it’s dumb, worthless, noise, not good...just do it and you’ll get better, learn, create something that makes sense to you.  Don’t live someone else’ life...make it yours.  You’ll know what you like by simply doing it.

Know your why – the how will work itself out.  If you know why you’re working so hard it helps with motivation and the how.  The universe will take care of the how if you know your why.  Why can be projects, things that interest you, your “bliss”, your life’s purpose...Knowing your “whys” will help you understand your purpose and give you a daily roadmap of what to do.  Your routine will help with this if it’s designed around things that matter to you.  Something as simple as reading a book will propel you forward in unexpected ways.  Your curiosity will lead you to things you need to know and your “teacher” will appear because you’re ready and curious.

Listen to your GUT!  There will be times when you'll know something is wrong but not know what.  Listen to your instincts, watch for signs and give credence to what it shows you.  Your mind and thoughts may not help but your inner wisdom will guide you if you let it.  Your partner may very well be the person who has the info that you need to know to solve the puzzle!

Deal with “Frazzle” by taking breaks, reaching for the thought that brings peace, give someone a hug...  Your daily stress level is something that needs to be managed. Often your stress is simply not real and it’s in your mind so be vigilant to watch your thoughts.  The prayer:  “Please heal my fear-based thoughts” helps me to get to another place.  I use it when I’m up in the middle of the night to get back to sleep...use it often!

Pitch to your strengths – Do what you love and get energy/joy from it.  So often we spend too much time and energy on the heavy things...Do what you love and gain strength from it.

Your daily routine will save your life and keep you moving forward even in difficult moments.  Use your routine to keep you on track and put you back on track when you fall off the wagon.  Do an abbreviated version of your routine if that’s all you can do BUT, DO IT NO MATTER WHAT!!!  The commitment will work for you in a way you don’t now understand...

Your actions will show your priorities.  Your life is a daily test of your real priorities.  If your priority is your family - when it's threatened, you defend it regardless of the cost.  If your personal development is a priority, you'll keep with your growth pattern before doing other things.  We're constantly demonstrating our priorities...this is life's daily challenge.

February 2021

Take a break, change your scenery, forget about everything, turn off the phone...Tough to do but really necessary, let's see how it goes!

So what stokes the fear and gets you off track?  Stress, taking on other people's issues, taking yourself too seriously, taking your work too seriously.  Give yourself a break, T on things that give you life and stoke your creativity.  Tomorrow will be a better day!

January 2021

I'm really not sure how this whole life change started or why it made sense and I was able to follow through this time...but I'm glad it did take.

I started out obese, unable to stop over eating.  I was also struggling with over spending and living in fear.  2020 was a terrifying place to be with the economy freezing up, job security out the window, the world in a funky freefall.  

The upside was that I was not traveling anymore and able to spend time with my family.  My wife had already decided she was going to get in shape and started a morning exercise routine.  I followed her lead and we did it together.  After a month or so of this exercise it became part of our life and we were seeing the benefit.

In the midst of this new habit I listened to Steve Gundry's recording about diet.  I decided to try a very simple diet:  no sugar, no junk food (chips, fried food, popcorn, pizza, french fries, coke...), no alcohol, no sweets.  I started eating good protein, nuts, and cut out the garbage.  I lost 30 lbs within a few months.  My blood work confirmed what Gundry promised.  

The next big change was preparing a daily ritual that I would stick to on a daily basis.  I always wanted to speedread but never took it seriously.  I decided to do it and now I'm reading a book per day.  The exercising is a constant.  I read the Bible 7 chapters a day from each major part:  Torah, History, Psalms, Wisdom, Prophets, Gospels, Epistles.  I write in a Gratitute/Evidence Journal, one page per day, I journal on the computer, listen to a Blinkist recording, do PSTEC programming/affirmations, write a Binaural Song per day, practice my music.  The ritual is sacred and helps me move forward.  Just a few minutes on any task gives me energy and movement forward.  I'm still not sure why this is sticking but it is.

I read Anthony deMello's book - Awareness.  I was struck by the concept of being aware and losing fear.  Maybe the real meaning of life is to learn to lose fear and just be who you are, do what you feel you should do or find interesting and experience life.  In this view even the business stress becomes a drama that's unreal and you can hold it lightly because it's not real.  Maybe I've come on to something...maybe I'll allow myself to do more of what's important to me and not feel I have to stress to pay for my life!  

I've come to the conclusion that we're on this earth to learn how to get beyond Fear and follow our bliss  So what do you do with this knowledge/awareness?  Act as if there is nothing to fear and follow your bliss  Do what you feel you need to do.  See life for the game it is and play it, enjoy it and go for the plan A.